I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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