so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
