he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
