i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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