sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
