Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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