Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
