Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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