The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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