Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
