Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
