giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
