just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
