You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
