you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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