just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
