Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
