5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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