Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
