Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
