To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Sext me about skeletons
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
