I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
FUCK WHALES
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
