she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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