It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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