No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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