i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
