it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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