my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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