You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
