your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
