I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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