All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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