Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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