Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
