Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
