Redeem this text for a blowjob
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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