I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
