i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize