Well douche your snatch and let's go!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize