Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
