FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
