So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
