Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize