it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you told grandpa to call you daddy
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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