i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
