eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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