Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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