Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
