So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize