What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
only if we run a train.
done.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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