Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Randomize
