Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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