I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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