So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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