Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The adults are the big ones right?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
