I am puke
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
